For those of you unfamiliar with the wonderful Christian claymation antics of "Davey and Goliath," the following brief description should suffice to clue you in on what you've been missing all these years. And for the dedicated fans like myself, this in depth analysis of some aspects of the show you may have missed is an invaluable viewing aid.

"Davey and Goliath" is an animated claymation feature often found on local television stations on Sunday mornings. Why Sunday? Because the show and the values represented within are heavily Christian. The story revolves around the Hansen family: Mom, Dad, Sally, Davey, and his talking dog Goliath. The show teaches Christian views and morals by portraying Davey as a well behaved kid who occasionally misbehaves. When he strays from the straight and narrow, his father explains everything to him in a parable, and Davey sees the light. The episode ends with Davey learning a powerful lesson about life, and we're all the wiser. At least this is the way I remembered the show.

More recently however I've begun to watch the show again, this time in a more critical light. The first thing I noticed is that Davey is not the sweet boy I remembered, he's a total brat most of the time. Additionally, nagging questions began to pop up... Why a talking dog? Why doesn't Sally ever misbehave? How come the Hansen's own two cars, (a Jeep and a Station Wagon) but you never see them in the same episode? And most importantly, why can't Davey ever learn anything except through direct experience? I'm sure you can see how someone could easily lose sleep over questions like these. In order to illustrate my point I'll relate a few episodes.

In one episode, a French shoemaker moves into town. Davey and friends think that he's mean because he's always cursing at them, when in fact he's just speaking French. You see Davey assumes that any word he doesn't know is a curse word. Davey's gang of hooligans starts pelting the store with snowballs, at which point the Frenchman really does yell at them. Davey and Sally are suspicious and try to sneak into the store to find out whether this guy is really a shoemaker. First they try breaking and entering to see what's in the back room (the Frenchman's sick wife is back there), and when that fails they try deception. They go in with a broken shoe to see if he can fix it, but when Sally gets too close to the grinder the shoemaker loudly warns her to stay away. Fearing for their lives, Davey and Sally run from the store without paying the dollar they owe him. All the while the talking dog Goliath keeps saying, "Gee Davey, I don't know if you should do that." Of course Davey eventually gets around to talking to his Dad, and with a parable and a drive over to the shoemakers place in the red Jeep, everything is straightened out.

In another famous episode, "The Caretakers", Davey learns a valuable lesson about pollution. Davey and Goliath are going hiking, and later in the day Dad is going to pick them up in the Jeep. They fill their canteen with cherry pop and head off down the railroad tracks. Along the way they find a bucket of red paint that Davey decides to carry along. Deep in the woods they find a well with a trough next to it for giving water to the wild animals. Davey starts throwing stones into the well, breaks the bucket and the pulley, and trips over and crushes the trough. At this point a deer walks up to Goliath and tells him (talking deer too?) that the well is important to a lot of people and animals, especially during these hot summer months. Could he please tell his master to stop? Goliath tries to stop Davey, but when he mentions that he heard this from a deer, Davey responds, "Silly Goliath, deer don't talk." For some reason, Davey can believe in his own talking dog, but talking deer are completely out of the realm of possibility. Needless to say, Davey continues to do his worst to the well, and pours the paint into it in order to make it look like cherry pop.

When Davey's Dad stops by with Sally and Mom, they're all complaining of thirst, and the Jeep is overheating. When they see the state of the well, Davey's father wonders aloud what kind of idiot would do such a thing. Davey admits to being the one, explaining "I thought it was deserted." Of course Dad tells him that things like water were made by god for all of us, and we're his caretakers. Suddenly Davey understands, and so do we.

The final and most classic example is an episode in which Davey and a friend go boating on the lake. Davey thinks it would be a good joke to rock the boat when his friend stands up. Davey's buddy falls into the lake and drowns. Davey is distraught and confused throughout the rest of the episode until he has the good sense to talk to his Dad again. I think Davey didn't quite understand the entirety of the message this time though, because he goes to talk to his dead friends mother and says, "I"m sorry that your son died Mrs. Johnson, it must have been gods' will." Oddly enough though, Mrs. Johnson invites her sons’ murderer into the house for cookies. Episode ends, fade to black.

My point here is that Davey cannot learn anything except through direct experience. Davey can't understand that prejudice is wrong except by being prejudiced, he can't learn about pollution without being a polluter, and he can't learn about death without killing his best friend. A normal person would trust the experience of others and not do any of these things. But Davey's life is one disaster after another, interspersed with the word of god. And what of the dog, Goliath? Goliath spends every episode following Davey around saying over and over, "But Davey...". The dog has more sense than Davey does. After much consideration, I finally came up with a theory that serves to explain this paradox.

Many people have said (the silent majority) that Goliath is a hell-spawn, possessed by the devil, and that's why he talks. Let's face it, talking dogs just aren't normal. The only other person I've ever heard of who listened to talking dogs was David Berkowitz, the Son of Sam. Not only did he listen to a dog who told him to kill people, but it wasn't even his dog, it was his neighbors.

But my theory solves more of the basic problems of the show. Briefly, my theory is that Davey and Goliath have somehow become victims of an evil mind-transference experiment. Think about it; Davey can't learn except though experience, in much the same way the family pet needs to be wacked across the nose with a newspaper. Goliath, on the other hand, knows what Davey is doing is wrong and continually warns him not to do it. But does Davey ever listen to the voice of experience and reason? The answer is a resounding no. So until their brains have been placed back in their appropriate locations it seems as if Davey's life and the show will continue in the same vein.

As for why the Hansen's cars never appear together, or why Sally never misbehaves, I have no answer as of yet. Perhaps I'll leave that as an exercise for you, oh gentle reader.